FUNNY SMS TEXT MESSAGES
U R 100% beautiful.. U R 100% lovely.. U R 100% sweet.. U R 100% nice and U R 100% stupid to believe these words!
It goes in dry, it comes out wet, the longer its in, the stronger its gets. We can have it in bed, just u & me. ITS NOT WHAT U THINK....... its a cup of tea!
I'm at the Police Station.The police caught me & filed a case against me 4 "POSSESSION OF GOOD LOOKS" I'm doomed! NEED SOMEONE UGLY 2 BAIL ME OUT; So HURRY UP!
ROSES R RED, VIOLETS R BLUE. THE HIGHER DA SKIRT, THE BETTER THE VIEW!
I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
U picked me up, u took me home, u put ur hands around my waist, u took off my top, den u put ur lips om mine. THANK GOD im a bottle of PEPSI.
R U worried about missing work or being late, we have a deal 4 U. Travel with Bin Ladin Airlines & we will fly U str8 in2 Ur office!
I saw u staring out from da window..ur eyes..ur face..ur so adorable..i couldn't resist myself & started signing...HOW MUCH IS THT DIGGY IN DA WINDOW...
This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
I wanted 2 rite u a letter but all i cud rite was. . . "3w 6@ys" it didnt make much sense until u read it upside down
SUM1 MISSES U, NEEDS U, WORRIES ABOUT U, WANTS 2B WITH U, ...................................& IT AIN'T ME U IDIOT!
I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!
This message was sent exclusively for the handsomes and the beautifuls only. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience
I saw sumthin in da shop window 2de. It was stunnin, sexy, cute, beautiful & adorable. I was supposed 2 buy it 4 u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION
Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me- How abt u?
You're Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you're becoming more like me everyday!
Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get
Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !". it didn't make much sense until i read it upside down...
MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??
Pls remind me 2 remind u about remindin me to send u dis reminder.. Oh dat reminds me.. Can u remind me wot the reminder was? I forgot!
Hello! M a little alien called Ted.I have taken the form of a mobile phone- your phone.And during this message I have been having sex with your thumb!
This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat an cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!
A)Ur Attractive
B)Ur Buff
C)Ur Charmin
D)Ur Delicious
E)Ur Excitin
F)Ur Funny
G)Ur Gorgeous
H)Ur Heavenly
I)Im
J)Just
K)Kiddin
L)Loser!
HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press down* HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press up*
if u notice this notice you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing!!!
I have the "I".I have the "L".I have the "O".I have the "V".I have the "E"... so pls giv me 'you'.... So that i can say 'i love you'..
if u r askin if id hurt u da ansa is neva.. if ur askin if i luv u da ansa is 4eva.if ur askin if i want u da ansa is i do.if ur askin wot i value most da ansa is u
If luvs a disease den im very ill.but i dont want medicine i wont take no pill.i will suffer dis illness cos it makes me see exactly how much u mean 2 me!
If i va a tear in ur eye i wud roll down on2 ur lips. Bt if u va a tear in my eye i wud neva cry s i wud b afraid 2 lose u!
If Luv & Frendship cud b brought o sold s if they va Stocks & Shares, thos wise enaf 2 invest in u SEXY wud all b millionaires!!!
If water was a kiss i wud send u da sea. If a hug was 1 leaf i wud send u a forest. If luv were 4eva i wud send u eternity!
If i wrote ur name in da sky wind wud blow it away.if i wrote ur name in da sea waves wud wash it away.But ur name is engravd in my heart where nothin can touch it!
if u love me like u told me please be careful with my heart- u can take it jus dont break it or my world will fall appart
If a kiss was a raindrop i'd send u showers.if a hug was a second i'd send u centuries.if a smile was water i'd send u a sea.if love was a person i'd send u me!
A train is about 2 crash! A frantic virgin strips off & says can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die? So a man takes off his clothes & says iron these!
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?
3 sisters. ann, jan & fanny all have big feet, ann & jan go on a date, 1 of the boys says "jesus u have big feet "ann replys "u should see our fannys theyre huge!
She came 2 me 1 nite...explored my body...licked-sucked-swallowed & had her fill...wen satisfied she left...I was hurt... F***IN MOSQUITO
Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!
Last nite i wantd u. needed u so badly dat it hurt. wantd 2 taste u. i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u. u stupid..PARACETAMOL
NEWSFLASH...scientists have made a breakthrough & discovered that the female gender carry intelligent cells. Unfortunately 95% of them spit it out!
I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you, you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!
Women are like little children, they put everything they see in their mouth.
The boy puts his information in her communication and together they make population!
What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a woman? ... When they are wet, they do not squeak any more!
God created the world in SIX days But it took him centuries... to come up with someone...as "HOT" ... as "SEXY"...
*..As "YOU!"..*
Are mice giving you trouble? No? Than you must have a good pussy!
A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....
you do not have to be good to be the best as long as you are better than all the rest!!
Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.
Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back...
What you never want to hear while having good sex?? ............. "Honey, I am home!"
Why does a woman have two pair of lips?................... One is for fighting and one is to make up.
What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?................ They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet
If you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy, I am too...if you are sad, I am too...and if you are horny, call me.
A woman is like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, you cannot enter them, when they are wet, they smell and when you walk on the street with them, people laugh at you.
Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh......ohh......yes......almost there......yeah......oh shit......harder......so good!
mmmm ......................That's how we sex on text.
The 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass, 7 days of bleeding without dieing, letting a man come without yelling.
Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed in your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it because you're smiling now!!
By opening this message you activated the dildo of your girlfriend. She thanks you moaning...You have now become
unnecessary.
SEX is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game.
Luv is a sensation dat is caused by temptation.a boy puts his location in a girls destination.do u get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?
Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!
If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?
Roses are red.voilets are corny.when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!
Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch Rover, da poor dog, a bone. but when she bent over, Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!
Jack & Jill went up the hill 2fetch a pale of water.we dont no wot they did up there but they came back with a daughter
Mirror Mirror on the wall.Whos the fairest of them all?The mirror laughed Den made a grunt- It sure aint u.u ungly cunt!
A GIRL ASKS: why cows seem depressed wen being milked?
TEACHER: if every morning at dawn they rubbed your boobs 4 two hours n don't f**k u, HOW WUD U FEEL?
RECIPE 4 LUV CAKE:spread legs,squeeze + massage milk pots,check frequently with midfinger,add banana,work in-out till well creamed.Cake done when banana soft!!!
A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes. A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever
A smile is a curve that can Straighten out a lot of things.
Dont b afraid 2 expose yourself. Reach out and tell sum1 wot they mean 2 u coz when u decide its the right time it might b 2 late!
If you don't Stand for Something.You will Fall for Everything
Sumtimes its harder 2 say no wen u really mean yes.Its hard 2 close ur eyes wen u really want 2 see.But the hardest thing 2 do is to let go wen u want to stay
You might regret what you do- but you'll regret what you don't do SO much more
2 let go doesnt mean 2 stop carin.2 let go is to learn theres sumthin beyond.2 let go means acceptin reality.2 let go is lovin more coz u only want the best.
If you are the flame you can't be burned
Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery.today is a gift that is why we call it the present!
Intelligence is like a river.The deeper it is the less noise it makes
People say dat wen luv comes knocking on ur door let it in.But sumtimes luv comes through a backdoor & by the time u notice, it'll b on its way out.
God gave u 2 legs to walk.2 hands to hold.2 ears to hear.2 eyes to see.But why did he giv u only 1 Heart? because He wants you to look for the other
?Some thoughts are better kept unsaid.some feelings are better kept to urself.because love has its way of expressing itself despite the silence.
True love doesnt have a happy ending.True love doesnt have an ending!
If love isnt a game then why are there so many players?
Dont find love.let love find you.That's why it's called falling in love coz you dont force yourself to fall- you just d
If you want me to fall for you- you have to give me something worth tripping over.
u luv coz u weep.u weep coz u hurt.u hurt coz u fail.u fail coz u try.u try coz u need.u need coz u want.u want coz u feel.u feel coz u live.u live coz u luv
Love is like a rose it blossoms then dies
love is not how u 4get but how u forgive.not how u listen but how u understand.not what u see but what u feel & not how u let go but how u hold on.
Love is like quicksand the deeper you fall in the harder it is to get out
It hurts 2 luv sum1 who doesnt giv u d time of day.but it hurts more wen u realize dat sum1 u dont giv d time of day luved u & gave it up coz u luved another
Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart
love can sometimes be magic- but magic can sometimes be an ILLUSION!
U took me in a dark alley, u held my hips, u took my top off, u put ur lips on mine, u tasted me. u loved every second. thank god im only a coke bottle!
HELLO !! this is your mobile.... just wanted to get out of your pocket!
YOU & I do it in BED.. do it in da CAR.. do it STANDING.. do it SITTING.. but its best doin it in LYING DOWN. Dont WE just. . . love . . . . . . . . TXTN (",)
A Baby monkey asked his mother, why are we ugly? Mother said : thank god we look like this, u should see the person reading this message!
You! I trustd u so much but u couldn keep ur big mouth shut!Y u av tel others my secrt? Uv realy let me down! Pls stp telin ppl dat im so SEXY n GORGEOUS!
pReSs OpTiOn tHeN sELeCt RePLy.NeXt PrEsS oPtIoN aGeN,cHoOsE dIcTiOnArY aNd Go To ENGLISH.tHeN pReSs tHiS 8 NuM:46630364. go N FoLoW mA iNsTrUcTiOnz...:
God made coke. God made pepsi. God made me... so damn sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made u.... well we all make mistakes!!
How do you piss off an archeologist? Show her a used tampon and ask her wot period it came from!
I wanted to send u something amazing,sexy, funny, beautiful.. but the postman told me to get out of the letterbox!
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
U r my Funny, Understanding, Cute,Kind, Intelligent, Naughty,Great, Sweet,Honest, Independent, Truthful friend in short ur my F.U.C.K.I.N.G S.H.I.T. friend
Your teeth are so yellow, i can't believe it's not butter!!!
What happened 2 the bloke who injected himself with curry? He went into a korma!!
I'm at da police station, they caught me & filed a case agaist me. I'm doomed cos da evidence is very clear, they are charging me with "POSESSION OF A CUTE SMILE!" HaHa!
A chinese man took his pregnant wife 2 da hospital 2 deliver.The wife however gave birth 2a black baby.The chinese man who wz shocked named him: SUM TIN WONG
The police are looking for a suspect described as hot, handsome, intelligent, funny and great in girls' hearts. U r safe, but where the hell will i hide?
wen i send u msgs it dnt mean u ave 2 do da same... U can also send cash, fruits, tea, petrol, pizza, chicken, noodles and other GIFTS....... so start TODAY!!!!!
one day theres a meeting in da forest attended by tiger, horse, lion, monkey etc... but the meeting has not been started yet coz the monkey is buxy reading this.
Warning: you have performed an illegal txin service,this could result in disconnection or a court fine,to avoid further action you must tell me u luv me
Police have found a corpse badly burnt, no brain and a very large arse... Text me back so i know your ok.
u should do 2 things in the morning 1)pray to GOD so u can live 2) have a shower so others can live...
a fone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection, a picture is a form of rememberance, and choosing me as a lover is a form of.....?
The NCHS Regrets to inform you that your birth was a mistake, could you please report to your local hospital to be put down!
U R 100% beautiful.. U R 100% lovely.. U R 100% sweet.. U R 100% nice and U R 100% stupid to believe these words!
ROSES R RED, VIOLETS R BLUE. THE HIGHER DA SKIRT, THE BETTER THE VIEW!
I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
There was once a genie who came and asked "Name ur wish", U asked "Make me Gorgeous", Genie replied "I grant wishes not fucking miracles"
U picked me up,u took me home,u put ur hands around my waist,u took off my top,den u put ur lips om mine. THANK GOD im a bottle of PEPSI.
R U worried about missing work or being late, we have a deal 4 U. Travel with Bin Ladin Airlines & we will fly U str8 in2 Ur office!
You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see.but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.
*In Reality*?. The Player Isn't Actually Playing The Other Person...He's Playing Himself...
People Fall in love not knowin y nor how.Its so special a feelin dat it doesnt require much answers.U just love no matter how stupid u become.
be careful when a girl tells u that she loves u from the bottom of her heart. for this may mean that there is still enough space for another boys on top
Be friendly to your children as they are the ones that decide where you live when your are old.
Children playin outside cars can cause accidents.but adults playin inside cars can cause children by accident!
When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself why isn't he taken? while w8ing 4 d right person 2 come- play & hav fun with d wrong 1.but b careful with who u play with bcoz dat person mite b d right 1 all along
If you fool me once shame on you.If you fool me twice shame on me.
Girls are like roses- watch out for the pricks
Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature
All of my friends and I are crazy.Thats what keeps us sane!
Wen u smile the world smiles with u.wen ur down people will rally behind u.but wen u fart u r alone coz people will never stand by u!
Im a nobody.. nobodys perfect.. therefore IM PERFECT!!!
I didnt kiss ur girlfriend! I told her lips a secret!!
Man 2 wife- "U have 2 learn how 2 cook darling so we can save money by getting rid of the chef". Wife: "Y don't U learn how 2 f**k so we can fire the driver".
There are 256 bones in your body! Would u like another?
Selengkapnya...
